It is no secret that Sacramento, California was hit hard by the recession. With the economy still in recovery, more and more people are coming out of the woodwork looking for part time work. Using 3 secrets, anyone can go from unemployed to “professional Sacramento belly dancer” practically overnight by luring in customers with amazingly low, undercutting rates. Can you blame them for wanting to get some extra money in these tough times? Well, the IRS can for tax evasion, but that is another story. There is a time and place to hire a bargain belly dancer in Sacramento, but for important events like weddings, big parties and corporate events, you don’t want to be disappointed with a bad performance by a six-week-belly-dance-wonder. After I reveal these 3 secrets, go ahead and try it out if you want. Become a professional belly dancer overnight!
Here are the 3 secrets belly dancers don’t want you to know:
Secret #1. Anyone can buy a belly dance costume
From cheap $30 belly dance costumes made in China and sold on Ebay to $1000 custom couture belly dance costumes hand made in Egypt, anyone can buy a belly dance costume. Costume designers and merchants don’t check for your professional belly dancer badge number to make a sale. In fact, there is no such thing (see secret #2).
Secret #2. There is no professional belly dancer license
Anyone who has a belly dance costume and has seen a couple of belly dance videos on YouTube could claim themselves to be a professional belly dancer. While there are a few scattered belly dance certification programs, they are not nationalized or recognized by the belly dance community as defining what a professional belly dancer is. There is no belly dance license, no belly dance diploma, and no official professional belly dancer membership card. Unfortunately, there is not even a belly dance fairy who leaves golden finger cymbals under pillows on that magic day a belly dance student turns into a professional belly dancer in Sacramento.
Secret #3. Anyone can set up a belly dance website, post photos of themselves “belly dancing” and book professional gigs under the guise of a professional belly dancer.
Click to see Couscous's Sacramento belly dance website
As demonstrated by my friend Couscous, ANYONE in Sacramento can have a belly dance website and sell their belly dancing services. Couscous is comfortable with over inflating her belly dance abilities in order to lure in paying customers and she relies on two secret weapons to make the sale. The first secret weapon is your trust. Why wouldn’t anyone think Couscous is a professional Sacramento belly dancer? It says so right on her website! Sadly, not all people are as honest as you are. Her second secret weapon is your lack of knowledge of what a good professional belly dancer is. Most people have not seen a full belly dance performance and don’t really know what to expect. Without doing some research and seeing good examples of belly dancing, it is easy to hire the first Sacramento belly dancer you come in contact with.
Fortunately for you, my next blog post will tell you how to become a belly dance expert in less than 10 minutes and how to use that knowledge to find the best belly dancer in Sacramento to amaze your friends and family with at your wedding or next special event. If I have made you paranoid about hiring your next belly dancer and can’t wait till the next blog post, please call or send me an email and I will help you find the perfect belly dancer for your party.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Does she get paid in cat food? Does she treat people well or is she catty? (OMG im sorry)….it seems she thinks she is the cat’s meow…ok Ill stop
I prefer to eat couscous not watch it dance
She does accept mice for payment, although she might go for a Fancy Feast trade as well! So long as you hire her instead of anyone else, she might even go as low as kibbles.
Okay – that was hilarious!!! I sure hope Couscous doesn’t get to catty when performing by hissing at her clients. They are likely to tap her on the nose and send her to her chair….
Superior information, I will be checking back on a regular to look for improvements.
Thank you. I hope this blog is helping to demystify the business side of professional belly dancing. Check back frequently for more posts and feel free to suggest a topic that you are interested in.
You are a jerk! How dare you release my belly dance trade secrets. I am a true professional Sacramento belly dancer and to prove it, I will now cut my rates in half again and hype my money-saving-sub-par-belly-dance-show so you will never get work in Sacramento again. I might even start paying customers to have me dance for them. They will not be able to refuse that offer! Muahahahahah
Yours etc.,
Couscous the best Sacramento belly dancer ever!
The three secrets well stated!
Thanks for reading :) Means a lot coming from a respected member of the community!
Couscous is wonderful! I saw her dance at Rat-kassah this year and loved how she used her tail to frame her eyes and express herself. Do not speak of Couscous like this! You are just jealous because she is one of a kind!
She is definitely one of a kind! Though I think I recognized her Rat-kassah routine from one of Beata and Horacio’s shows. Shame on her for not crediting the choreographers!
I see Horacio and Beata have inspired you!!
Yes, I love Beata and Horatio!
These are really good secrets to know. (Assuming that this is real and not just a joke post made for fun). Ms. Crystal, you have a way with words and an.incredible sense of humorous. Have you ever thought of becoming a stand-up comedienne or at least incorporating comedy skits into your Bellydance performances?
I love dance too much to share the spotlight with being a comedian. I have used humor/skits in my performances though. Especially with the Troupe Scimitar dances.
Oops, I meant to say “humor”. Silly me.
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